You shouldn't hang on, it's already gone.
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Monday, January 01, 2007
It's 2007! Happy new year to all, may you all have a great year ahead! Hope it'll be a good year to you all, especially me. Alright this post may be a little longer than usual. So let me just say some things about the day before yesterday, which is on the 30th saturday. Asked dad the second time to let us go for church service, and he finally agreed to let us go! Thanks to me okay, took me quite some time to persuade him. And during that night, i prayed to god to let me go for church service. Well it worked, god works wonder. We were supposed to meet yongmei and jency at somerset mrt control room, and jency woke up late! So kaining went to eat lunch with us, seriously all four of us were so lame! Yongmei and kaining kept laughing cause i say people's names wrongly. I seriously am hard of hearing, maybe it's cause i keep hearing heavy metal music. Better quite listening to it sooner i guess, doesn't do good to me anymore.
After that we went for service, and it was fun too. At some point of times, i don't know why, but i kept crying. Tears start falling down now and then, as some people on stage were talking about stuffs regarding to god. I guess that really does cause a great impact on me, kept thinking of all those bad stuffs i've done before. No amount of sorry would help in my problem anymore, i can't even forgive myself for what i've done. Okay never mind, the worst part is that so many people saw me crying. Even the girl who said i was a nice person when she first saw me, she saw tears flowing down. But it's okay, i got to see you again! So jency, linda and yongmei prayed for my sister and i, my flu and sore eyes. Hey guys guess what? It's all gone now, thanks a lot! Also don't know why i cried when they prayed for us, weird me. I must have really done a lot of bad things before, dear god, forgive me for the sins i've done. Kept repeating to myself this word, sorry, sorry for what i've done.
After service, we went to S11, and then our whole big gang went to walk around orchard area. During that time, aaron went to scare a "silver lady." Yongmei and i saw the person cursing, what the! But never mind, we walked around and ended up slacking at burger king. Talked and slacked with aaron, jency, ee lee, yongmei and my sister. Well they're really nice people thou, must be really cool to speak in different tongues. After that went back to S11 and slacked some more, i guess my sister and i left after that. Had a fun day with you all thou, hope to go back to service soon! Well it's not all entirely our faults right? You merely asked us for our opinions, and we'll just have to answer it. What's wrong? What's the matter? I know your characteristics too well, and you think you're the one who has control over it? It may seem hard to change your way of thinking at times, just think about it. With every moment that dies, i still see the light..
Memories of the days when we once felt no fear. The sound of laughter we used to hear. No true joy would ever find, a place in our hearts. Nothing could bring our souls it's warmth back. What are we asking for, is to end this worthless conflict. For you to reach out for us, when we're calling your name. Lately it seems like morality has been forgotten again, for we have already known this kind of pain. Open up yourself, you're hiding something. Sometimes from your deepest feelings, there is happiness despite your sadness. Trail of fear led us to believe, that we can no longer trust. And through a vail of pain you have realized, what have i become. What have i always been. I shall fear no more of being left aside by your unfulfilling devotions, clarity is now ahead of me. Not everything is gone, have faith in yourself.
When a new year starts, we should all have new year resolutions right? I realised that i only fulfiled two-third of my 2006's resolutions. So here are some of my 2007's resolutions. I'm a little shy to let you all know the rest, and i'm serious! 1. Be nice to everyone, especially to my family members. 2. Stop exceeding my sms-es, no one's happy with my current bills. 3. Concentrate more on my studies, and no more goofing off. 4. Take pride in studying 5. Love god more than ever, first in my heart. So here are some of it, i don't care whether they're resolutions to you or not. That's just what i want, until next year, let's see whether i can fulfill it. Well 2006 is really full of ups and downs for me, and i'm not kidding at all. I got to experience tons of stuffs, some can really be useful in my future life. While some are just experiences that are meant to be forgotten. Nobody wants to remember that kind of stuffs, neither can i forgive myself for what i've done.
I've gotten into enough trouble for that year, and i realised that some others things are much more important than this. I know my attitude before was really out of control, i don't even know why was i like that in the first place. Guess you guys do change some part of me and proved me wrong. Plus i seriously don't know why i did that during the first and the second term, i guess you all know what i did. Come to think of it, i agreed with you that i'm going to regret it sooner or later. And i seriously did regret it soon after that, should heed for your warnings earlier. But i got to know everything about it now, so i did regret the things i did. I shan't get fooled by you again, you've shown me you're better off with it. And so i guess i'm better off alone too, like they said it can't be trusted. Rewrite my name with your purity, don't keep me restrained.
Tons of homework left undone, want to cry it out! Till now, i still haven't got any ideas for my art homework, can't express myself for all this topics. Better start to crack my brain, also heard that mdm chang's going to punish all those who haven't do finish he rmath homework. Guess what? I can't find some of them, oh no! Wonder what will she do to me when i didn't hand in her homework, guess i better start on my homework. And frustrations becomes your obstacle. Now your convictions, you won't need them where you end up you will not need them. Mark these words your story, ends then you will understand that you get back what you put in. Time collapses around them, and suddenly home won't feel like home anymore. They are guilty of trying, but it goes both ways. For you, for me, it's the same, i won't take part. And in time you remember, more to say, more to live for. Repeat the motions and refine your existence. Understand what you've done, consequence you remember.
Life's unpredictable, you'll never know what's going to happen next. Same goes for my feelings about what had happened in my life. That's my choice, cause things shall proceed as foreseen. Take a look at the depth of your soul. Keep the faith. i was looking forward to that
Grace Lee. 18 this year. Currently studying in Commonwealth Secondary School. I love my CCA Girl Guides. In class 1/7, 2/7, 3/6, 4/6 5/1.
27th November is my special day. Black freak. I respect all kinds of people, regardless of race or religion. Tend to get worked up whenever I hear the sound of keys ting-a-ling.
Dislike peanut butter or anything that has the word 'nut' in it. Gets high easily. Choose to vent my anger on my blog.
a new hand phone,
more clothes,
crumpler bag,
advance in my allowance,
helix piercing,
tragus piercing,
grow taller,
belt with a guitar buckle,
laptop,
do well in my studies,
new i-pod (black colour),
nike watch,
nike bag,
green/ white/ grey/ black skinny jeans,
pass O level, go poly,
more piercings,
film director,
a camera,
a new camera,
PSP,
HIM
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