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">
Saturday, April 22, 2006

to me, i'm really suffering from depression
i don't care if you think i'm not suffering from anything
slited my wrist,
my friends all thought i was going to die
imagine, if i wanted to die? wouldn't i just rather slit my neck?
total till now, cut myself twice
first one was a few mm deep,
but the second one was definely deeper
shit, now it's swollen
childish? lame? i don't care what you think
people told me not to do all this things
some said to me, doesn't that hurt?
what i'm feeling now, is much more worst than the pain on my wrist
the pain on my wrist doesn't hurt much,
my feelings for what i have now, hurts more deeply
sometimes i just didn't know what i'm doing at times
anyways, faizal told my sister today during her F&N lesson,
that he had already passed the phone to rafeek
when my sister told me, i was like
what the fuck?
why did you want to give him?
realised that there's no chance of getting my phone back
i would have to wait for 10 weeks which is basically until the first few weeks of july
think about it, i'm desperate for my handphone, which only a day passed
imagine 70 days, what am i going to do?
imagine over my holidays without my handphone
i can't live without it
and yet many people asked me why didn't i reply their sms
are you guys fucking blind? it's confiscated alright?
don't remind me
i know i'm in the wrong
where's your heart?
i know it's too late to change everything
but all i can say is that my views for you had changed dramatically
today, me and lydiana were laughing
seriously she can make me laugh
laugh till my tears drop
won't tell you what i'm laughing
cause i wouldn't know who's reading this pile of shit
mid-year is on friday, this friday
and i'm so totally unprepared.
just want you guys to know that i only cut myself when i'm very depressed
linda told me not to cut,
if the teachers saw my hand, they would bring me for counselling
wouldn't want to give up my recess time just to talk to someone
she talked to me before, but it wasn't the time i wanted
that's i refused to talk to her.
people said that he likes her,
i don't care who he likes, but i will just like him regardless of him liking others anot
after seeing what had happened in maple just now
i knew how he felt when a guy told me he wanted to marry me
but seriously thou, i don't care about getting married or not
it's just a game, and i could sense jealousy
should i go on like this or should i just give up?
now, math really is a gone case subject for me
if i want to go polytechnic or junior college
my math must do well
everything depend on math
why can't i just change my mindset?
just for this time
i would really want things to work out
i really have to do well for this mid-year
or my life would totally be ruined.
my future, my possesion, my freedom
last time she used to talk to me
because i told her my problems in sms
now, i realised that you must never trust a teacher
never ever trust them
you may never know what they will do to you
just like what she did to me
felt disappointed, although i know it's my fault
no reason hating you, but i just want to
don't see the point in talking to you,
don't see the point in smiling at you
you showed me what you're capable of
and i'm not proud of it
don't see any reason to talk to you anymore, unless i'm being forced to
my scar is going up, up to my veins
fuck everything i have in life
nothing's ever good enough
plain fucked up

1:26 AM





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http://gracehate.blogspot
Grace Lee. 18 this year. Currently studying in Commonwealth Secondary School. I love my CCA Girl Guides. In class 1/7, 2/7, 3/6, 4/6 5/1. 27th November is my special day. Black freak. I respect all kinds of people, regardless of race or religion. Tend to get worked up whenever I hear the sound of keys ting-a-ling. Dislike peanut butter or anything that has the word 'nut' in it. Gets high easily. Choose to vent my anger on my blog.

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