You shouldn't hang on, it's already gone.
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">
Friday, June 02, 2006
seriously you know? i didn't know why i suddenly cried, started to think back alot of things, really can't stand myself you know? why why why?! why do i always think back of the sad things that had happened? well, there's one reason which i can answer myself, i don't have any freaking good memories! what else? i can't stop myself from thinking back too can you believe it also? i cried you know, until so jialat lucky my parents wasn't near me at that time, or else they would think i'm crazy, crying for no reason it just feels so weird, so lonely that my sister's not at home in the morning, it would be just me and my 6 years old brother at home woke up quite late today only to find that my brother handed me the phone he said that it's for me, and i heard that it was my dad he said,"you haven't wake up? now what time already? bryan is complaining that no one is making breakfast for him. wake up lah, stop sleeping, it's 11am already!" it's only 11am, what your problem? i slept at 3 or 4am yesterday i'm a pig, you can't change a fact that a pig likes sleeping so i just rushed to the kitchen and went to make breakfast for my brother i can't complain, there's no one else in the house except me. actually i wanted to go back to sleep, but i guess something stopped me from doing that. didn't have the appetite to eat, so just went and brush teeth then go on the computer can you believe it? i actually off it at around 1:30pm if my sister were to be around, i don't think she would even want to off the computer at all! my dad called and told me to make lunch for my brother and i had to cook maggi mee for him, first time cooking another type of noodles which he only eats well, i'm the eldest among my sister and my brother, i just have to do it went to do my english homework, what the hell? chemistry homework so damn hard how you expect me to do? see the front page already half bored so i just left it aside to let it rot itself being alone at home without my sister is a really sad thing for me i never got this feeling before, and i can't adapt to it kept wondering what is she doing now? suffering? having fun? i really missed her, and really regret it, i regret now saying a proper goodbye to her when she was leaving the house i really regret it alot, how i wish i could turn back time saying all this things, really want to make me cry again i don't have anyone to talk to, complain to, everytime i try to talk to my parents, they would not even bother when i feel happy being with him, i can't tell all this to my parents i can only say all this to my sister, my parents would get mad of course when i wanted to talk to my mum, she would not even reply me as if i'm invisible to her, as if i'm a stranger, living in my world now, a dark and lonely world why must i cry? why must i lose myself? i can't go on it's too much for me to take, i can't hold on keeping my mouth shut for more than half a day imagine sleeping alone in our room, usually we'll talk, should i talk to the air? nothing could ever replace my sister, even though we fight over things easily but the fact is, she's my only sister and i failed to even say a proper goodbye what kind of a person am i? can't i spare a thought for other people? still thinking, will i cry tomorrow? i just feel so alone... i will forgive but i won't forget
Grace Lee. 18 this year. Currently studying in Commonwealth Secondary School. I love my CCA Girl Guides. In class 1/7, 2/7, 3/6, 4/6 5/1.
27th November is my special day. Black freak. I respect all kinds of people, regardless of race or religion. Tend to get worked up whenever I hear the sound of keys ting-a-ling.
Dislike peanut butter or anything that has the word 'nut' in it. Gets high easily. Choose to vent my anger on my blog.
a new hand phone,
more clothes,
crumpler bag,
advance in my allowance,
helix piercing,
tragus piercing,
grow taller,
belt with a guitar buckle,
laptop,
do well in my studies,
new i-pod (black colour),
nike watch,
nike bag,
green/ white/ grey/ black skinny jeans,
pass O level, go poly,
more piercings,
film director,
a camera,
a new camera,
PSP,
HIM
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