You shouldn't hang on, it's already gone.
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Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Whats up with all this things being spoken to me nowadays? Don't people have their own stuffs to do instead of bothering about what others do? What kind of people do this have these days? Lamers..
So anyways, sorry about not updating yesterday which i had promised myself to. After i went home from sentosa and kbox. Didn't dared to ask my father to use my damn computer, so just went ahead with the television. Yesterday went to sentosa with guohao, lengkiat, shih han, my sister and joelle. We all met and went to harbourfront mrt station and took a bus there, and i met some people unexpectally though. We all laughed, joked, and had fun along the way, and then went to palawan beach which i had never heard the name of this place before. The first thing we do is to go in the water! Goodness, it's so damn cold, luckily it took me quite some time before getting used to the water temperature. And then guohao wanted to swim across the water and onto another 'island.' Seriously i read too many newspapers, saw too many news reports on people drowning and all those stuffs. There's still some fear left in me though, as i was so damn afraid that my leg's going to get tangled up in some thing and DROWN!
But at least i'm still here right now! Means i didn't drown. *Laughs* I'm so damn lame at time though, so i had fun there! And when we're about to go back to jurong east entertainment. Some things happened which i don't want it to be spoken of here. Man! What have you guys turned into? You think you are some group of bigshots? Don't act big can a not? I don't want to type out your names here, but i think you changed a lot. I seriously can't be bothered about you guys anymore. Anyways it's also non of my business right? I finally saw the frustrated side of you, and i warned you guys it's not pleasant i guess. So after that we went to long john silver and bought some things to bring to kbox! Of course we had to smuggle in our food, and i seriously had a tough time with the drinks you know! I had to sort of 'hug' in the drinks, and i almost leaked out my secrets too?
So anyways it was my first time that i've been there in my entire life, and i was kind of amazed? so i'm really not those kind who sings infront of everyone, was afraid things might come crashing down. But as time past and i finally dared to sing among with the others too! Oh yes, the people there were my sister, joelle, clara, me, lengkiat, guohao, zhaolin, shih han and jonathan. Why did they choose majority of the songs to be in chinese language! My chinese language really stinks a lot and at times, i was practically mumbling the words to make it as if i know those chinese words to avoid embarrasment. I guess no one noticed too, relieved! Some more, we all made a big big mess in that room too! But seriously i did had fun there a lot, especially when we all sang, shut up! Just shut up, shut up! Smiles..
Some things just can't be explained in this world, and especially the way i feel towards you. You just want most of the attention to yourself and i respect that. Because it's the typical you and there's nothing i can do to change any part of you. So i might as well just give it all up and hope you would change for the better. Maybe someday, but somehow, somewhat, i seemed to have forgotten everything already. It makes me lighten my burden and instead of worrying about it the whole day. I kept thinking about what would happen if i didn't do all those things before. Will that even change that situation for me right now? Let's not gloat about it now, because i can't be bothered anymore. The more i think makes me feel more guilty and will even make my eyes be filled with tears again. I guess i will move on for now..
Many people keep saying that they're going to retain or they're going to drop to a lousier class. But! In the end, nothing happened and they just moved up another level. Okay okay, i don't know what i'm talking about right now. But i'm seriously damn stressed up about tomorrow. I'm going to at least know 1 subject's results. One of them i can assure you is math, can you imagine? Getting back two results, A and E math. I know i will be disappointed, but it's already over and there's nothing i can do about it. Maybe i can only regret that i didn't put in enough effort to do my exams. But i don't really have the 'exam mood' during that period, and seriously there's nothing i can do to make that mood get lightened up again. Well i just hope that i can go to secondary 4 in 2007. If not someone for sure is going to kill me for sure, my dad.
He just wants us to be above average than all my other classmates. But i just know that i wasn't one of those who are above average. Well i practically slacked a lot when i came to secondary 3, which seems so wrong isn't it? He assumed that we had done our best, get high marks for our end of year examinations. Every paper we done, and then when we reached home, he would ask us the same question. And we had to end up lying to him that the paper was easy and we had nailed it all. But inside me, i just hoped that i didn't lie to him and instead i should tell him the truth. But everyone would know that he would be very disappointed in us. And 'colourful' words would start to fill my head up. Guess some things shouldn't be told at all. But did i do the right thing? I'm guessing not, somehow i feel like i'm escaping reality. Maybe should have told the truth instead? Everything's in a mess already, i don't wish to do anything that may result disappointment in me now..
Everything is so messy, when i talk to you. It seems like everything is just the beginning of every ending. What am i thinking at times? i don't know where to go
Grace Lee. 18 this year. Currently studying in Commonwealth Secondary School. I love my CCA Girl Guides. In class 1/7, 2/7, 3/6, 4/6 5/1.
27th November is my special day. Black freak. I respect all kinds of people, regardless of race or religion. Tend to get worked up whenever I hear the sound of keys ting-a-ling.
Dislike peanut butter or anything that has the word 'nut' in it. Gets high easily. Choose to vent my anger on my blog.
a new hand phone,
more clothes,
crumpler bag,
advance in my allowance,
helix piercing,
tragus piercing,
grow taller,
belt with a guitar buckle,
laptop,
do well in my studies,
new i-pod (black colour),
nike watch,
nike bag,
green/ white/ grey/ black skinny jeans,
pass O level, go poly,
more piercings,
film director,
a camera,
a new camera,
PSP,
HIM
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