You shouldn't hang on, it's already gone.
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Friday, October 13, 2006
Yes! Exams are finally over, well i guess i am back here to revive my blog again. Stop sleeping my darn old blog! I'll make sure it will be a very long post for you guys to fall asleep while reading this long, long post! Well it's been quite a hectic week for me, i think. There's always this word reappearing in and out of my brain, the word is obviously 'study!' Don't know why this end of year examination seems like some sort of a joke to me? Well, basically means that i don't have any mood to study at all, what am i thinking of? End of year examination isn't all about jokes and games you know? It's so damn important, think straight!
I'm not the only one who doesn't have the mood to study for the end of year examinations too, most of my classmates also felt that way too. Maybe it's because mdm chang gave us too many test, so that's why this end of year examinations may just seem like another test for us too? Maybe i've got used to having tests all the time already, is it a good thing? Think she just wants to prepare us for next time, also heard that she wants us to take N or O level math this year? What the hell? Is it for real a not? Felt kind of shocked when she told us this thing. Also realised that she's quite a nice teacher, laughed during my paper 1 for math, she said," Are you ready?!" The way she spoke seemed so darn funny, another sad news came from her. She said that only 7 people passed the A math paper, which is obviously not going to be me. What a sad news, anyways see the rest of you twenty plus people during the november holidays.
Seriously i have so much comments for today, seriously there is a lot. We, the art the students were to proceed to the art room for our exam. Turns out that i'm sitting right at the front, what the hell? It's so damn hot, seems like a suana in there. Really don't have the mood to do my final artwork there, it really isn't a condusive envionment there, don't have any freaking inspiration nor mood to do. But guess i don't have any choices left, unless i want to fail my art, obviously not too. And one more thing, i really can't stand our the teacher taking us for the exam, also known as miss ruth ng! She keeps chatting non-stop, some sort of in an arrogant way too? I really, really cannot stand her anymore, so i ended up ignoring every word she says. If i were to lose it, i would really land a real tight slap on her face, bloody hell.
So anyways rushed through my art the day before, you can say that i have nothing to say about my final artwork. Some said it was nice, some did not know what i drew, strange ain't? After that was CME paper, seriously i did not study for it at all! The weird thing is that i realised that i had been doing many questions when the paper started. I turned back and found out that the paper was upon 100 marks? Can you guys imagine? In 1 hour's time, we're supposed to complete this 100 marks paper? At least i managed to finished the whole paper and have 5 minutes of time to sleep. Later on, sadly couldn't go out because adeline need to rush back home to do her homework, but hey! There's always a tomorrow right? Yeah, finally can go out! Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after tomorrow tomorrow! Am i really getting into the mood now? Do i really have the mood to relax after such a hectic week? Do i feel good doing all this stuffs? At least i tried! Alright alright, other than exams, i still have other problems too.
Things are happening before, now it's starting to occur again. It did not happen for once, not twice, not even thrice. It happened so many times that has became countless times already, and i'm seriously not looking forward to it at all. Things like this always makes me get caught up and i can't even concentrate on it at all. Well this kind of problems, i don't want it to be spoken in my blog, i don't want people to comment on what's on my mind now. Time to do some heavy thinking and think about the future. Hey! Did i hear some gossips about you? Woah, that's some bad comments, i just can't find anything in common in us nor anything to talk about. Shall i procrastinate this matter any further? I really don't wish things to turn out the way it was before, guess it's really time i find a solution quick. Hope that won't ruin our friendship too i guess? Why am i always waiting for things by chance?! Some sort like serendipity, isn't that my sister's favourite word?
Oh well, don't want to brag about this matter to anyone anymore. I will only trust and complain about this matter to my beloved clique! I love you guys, ASG! I can't eat another bite, i feel so damn bloated now. You guys made me feel like i'm much off without all those sort of people, they are just a waste of my time too. You're right, i shouldn't trust you, that words came out from your mouth. Plus your not those kinds whom i can trust the words being spoken out of your mouth too. I just want to hide at one corner and wait till all this stupid and childish matter is over, why must you read it aloud to me?! I don't want it to be heard by my ears every again, hope you understand too, no offence anyways. Been through a lot of thinkings this past few days, realised that i've been doing the same things over and over again. Seriously i do feel bad about doing all this sort of things, don't feel like saying what i've done too. Occured to some of you, but are you reflecting on all my bad deeds now?
Believe me, i won't feel bad nor take pity on you anymore, you're just a waste of time. Although i agree that i sometimes do have a soft spot for people like you. But now i can't be bothered anymore, so just back off a little. Even though you may live quite far away from me, sometimes i do feel your presence around me. I find your words quite true and reliable sometimes, and it does make sense to me. I still miss that place of yours, will you ever take my apology? Oh my goodness what just happened yesterday? Why did i lose my temper at you? I know you care but sometimes you just picked me at the wrong time. And i really can't believe what just happened a few days ago, why do you need to use violence on her? I know she had been treating you with that sickly attitude of hers. But why?
Does using violence really can resolve matters? I doubt so too. I sat right there, and i heard all your quarrels. Something just tells me that i should just leave this matter for you guys to resolve it by yourselves. I trust that both of you are adults and i trust that you also won't use violence to resolve matters. Can't you guys just talk this out? Well you can say that i can't be bothered, well actually i really can't poke my nose into your business. He warned her already, but in the end, you some sort of 'exploded'. What the f*ck, i saw you got beaten. Right infront of my eyes, and i just sat there and screamed at you to stop. Later on she came out to stop him, whose side should i stand now? I don't want to choose, but for now, i can say that both of you are in the wrong now.
One took things like a joke and refused to admit what you had done, but the thing is. Why should you lie to us? I hate f*cking liars a lot, so you better not lie to anyone of us, especially me! And the other one, you love to complain a lot. You once told me this sentence before,"The more i say makes me get angrier." I find it so worthless now, if it makes you get angrier when you speak of that incident more, why not stop thinking about it? And stop gloating about it all day, sit infront of her and just talk nicely, asked what she did that night. Rather than keep complaining it and nagging at us the whole day, expecting us to agree that you are always right. If you want an apology, then just ask for it, stop complaining!
Sometimes, this kind of matters isn't for us to solve it for you guys. You guys are old enough, don't let me see anymore of this heartbreaking incident for me. Especially when it's just right infront of me, please get along fine with each other. Take it as i'm begging you guys to get along will you? After my mum saw what i've bought this afternoon, she became kind of overreacted i think. She thought i was going to turn bad or something, is really the thing i bought bad for me? I'm not turning bad alright, relax a little. Well, good things don't last long and it will only be just a memory for us. I want to let this matter be just a memory for me, i don't want to investigate it any further. I'm sick and tired of this matter, it's time i let it go once and for all... the sight of you makes me puke
Grace Lee. 18 this year. Currently studying in Commonwealth Secondary School. I love my CCA Girl Guides. In class 1/7, 2/7, 3/6, 4/6 5/1.
27th November is my special day. Black freak. I respect all kinds of people, regardless of race or religion. Tend to get worked up whenever I hear the sound of keys ting-a-ling.
Dislike peanut butter or anything that has the word 'nut' in it. Gets high easily. Choose to vent my anger on my blog.
a new hand phone,
more clothes,
crumpler bag,
advance in my allowance,
helix piercing,
tragus piercing,
grow taller,
belt with a guitar buckle,
laptop,
do well in my studies,
new i-pod (black colour),
nike watch,
nike bag,
green/ white/ grey/ black skinny jeans,
pass O level, go poly,
more piercings,
film director,
a camera,
a new camera,
PSP,
HIM
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