You shouldn't hang on, it's already gone.
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Wednesday, November 22, 2006
I'm back from camp! Well, i came back a day earlier cause of my thailand trip tomorrow. This camp is absolutely, unexplainable. I don't know whether i should say this camp rocks or sucks. And it's not a bad thing at all, well not totally. I just have this feeling inside me, of course i'm not going to tell anyone right? Isn't that a little too obvious, plus eyes are all around you. You won't know who's looking at this, i don't want to get in trouble again. So anyways, went to school a bit earlier than others cause the patrol leaders should arrive first. And then just did some briefing, after everyone arrived, some mad woman was constantly shouting at us. What the hell, she got PMS is it? I guess so, or did she quarrelled with her husband? Many people thought it's such a bad way to start off our camp. I guess that's just the way she is..
And then we went to do some patrol things together. I love my patrol a lot! Yes, we rock we rock! Take care of yourself when zhibing and i are away from you guys! Let me see, after that we did some lessons. Which is so boring, we seriously feel like sleeping when we're at the classroom. No offence, but that's just what some of us also feel, so don't blame me. After that was dinner, oh my goodness, the chilli was so damn hot. I'm not kidding, it can make you go panting around. Luckily i didn't take so much, the rest of you, greedy! All i can say is that the secondary twos had did a great job, even thou it's weird not to have water games. Which we would never fail to have yearly. But it's okay, we had fun with the games and all. We did the banana dance! And we all look so riduculous, but we had to be enthusiastic right?
Many of us don't want to bathe that early, and many of us wanted to go out of the school. Some tried to climb over the gate, imagine if we had no mother's day. It'll be hilarious, but instead i'm stuck in the dnt block there. Seriously the place is damn scary, especially when it just rained cats and dogs, you can hear weird sounds too. Don't know why when we should be sleeping that time, many people don't really feel like sleeping. And was i one of the earlier ones who slept? I hope not, but when i woke up in the morning, i heard some news. Turns out that the secondary ones and the twos quarrelled, my reaction was, what the? I know what happened, but i don't want to type it out here, maybe it's just a waste of my time and energy. Can't believe adeline and me skipped physical training without being noticed by anyone. Seriously i'm not used to exercising so early in the morning.
What else, we made our patrol identity, which is weird. It should be done on the first day, don't know why it's on the second day. Anyways, insyirah is our designer! Shafidah tied our strings, zhibing is the out-liner, while renee, stella and i were colouring. Okay okay, i wrote down all of your names here already! Should be honoured okay? I just wonder what they're doing now. And we still played treasure hunt, seriously i don't mind getting wet in the rain! After that we just went to prepare our dinner. Adeline and i went to the staff room to de-frost the chicken plus do some other things with it. Seriously i've never done anything like this in my entire life. Both of us were so proud with ourselves! Plus my three fingers got cut and my ankle got sprained, guess what? It's the right hand and leg. Weird? And then i guess people are having a tough time with the fire, but we had to leave halfway..
Heard dinah said that guides wouldn't be so much fun without us. With us around, everything would be so fun, goodness. I feel so touched by what she had said to us, sad to see them get left behind too. Anyways have fun you guys! I finally saw your true self. Okay, things are seriously getting weirder and weirder each day. I can't believe i did that too, and i doubt i'll forget it for the rest of my life. Maybe it's just part of life or maybe it's an experience for me. But i'll try to forget about what has happened before, memories like this isn't worth my confusion. A side of me told me to go for it, and the other is telling me that everything will go wrong. But everytime i tried to go along with my thoughts, i feel that things would turn bad for me. As i thought back and i wonder..
I think i'm addicted to neopets again. What the, the child in me? Many thoughts came back to me as i began to appeal for my freedom. They told me that when i chose this road, i'm going to meet many rocky paths. I guess i was stupid enough to choose this path without any acknowledgement from people around me. Am i going to suffer the consequences now? I came and i began to thought back about the past, where i used to see care-free people walking around. Nothing seems to be bothering them at all, everything is just free. No stress, no worries, no nothing. Maybe things had changed due to them feeling mortified for things they've done. Is changing really a good thing? I guess feelings for each other do change real quickly, after hearing other people's comments for them. It shouldn't be the way..
Held captive, I'm a prisoner. In the back room where the water leaks and i'm oh, so cold. Command me on what to do, but we both know neither you or i are in control. There's nothing left for me here. I'm grabbing on to what's left of this hole. It's all too real this can't be happening. Never again, ever again, will i say i'm okay. I'm scared of the fate that will become mine. No time to talk you know the drill, under my desk this can't be it. I'm only dreaming, i've got to be dreaming. But i can't get up. No time to talk, not this time, this is my place. This is where i arrange. It's so funny how we see things so clear when we have no time left to live. So lay back now and take it is. I won't say a word, i won't say anything, i can't believe how it feels. To stand here in this room, and feel like it's going to blow. I think we're all going to blow. I've got to be dreaming, we've got to be dreaming. Please don't wake me up, this is the end.
But i guess that's just how they want things to be. Brain-wash me? Never! I shan't be influenced by you all, therefore i'll respect my own decision. There seems to be this worries within me, worries about not being all this and that. I guess i'll do some deep thoughts while i'm alone. I'm tired of everything, i shouldn't feel like that when i see the sight of it. Everything is yours and i shall stay away from it. Anyways going thailand tomorrow, hope there wouldn't be any quarrels within us. I've worked hard for this day, and i hope no one ruins it. I'm going to miss you guys a lot! Can't believe i'm leaving singapore for quite some time, will be back on the 27th, believe me i'll miss you all! :) it started out wrong
Grace Lee. 18 this year. Currently studying in Commonwealth Secondary School. I love my CCA Girl Guides. In class 1/7, 2/7, 3/6, 4/6 5/1.
27th November is my special day. Black freak. I respect all kinds of people, regardless of race or religion. Tend to get worked up whenever I hear the sound of keys ting-a-ling.
Dislike peanut butter or anything that has the word 'nut' in it. Gets high easily. Choose to vent my anger on my blog.
a new hand phone,
more clothes,
crumpler bag,
advance in my allowance,
helix piercing,
tragus piercing,
grow taller,
belt with a guitar buckle,
laptop,
do well in my studies,
new i-pod (black colour),
nike watch,
nike bag,
green/ white/ grey/ black skinny jeans,
pass O level, go poly,
more piercings,
film director,
a camera,
a new camera,
PSP,
HIM
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