You shouldn't hang on, it's already gone.
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Thursday, December 21, 2006
My parents' going to KL tomorrow, remember to buy stuffs for back for me! I'll pray that both of you would have a safe trip there, and most importantly, enjoy yourself okay? Take care and have fun! Well it's been a long time since i raised my voice at someone. I don't like raising my voice at people, doesn't do good to neither party anyways. Didn't know what came over me too, oh well i'm only doing it cause i feel that you've gone overboard already! I'm at a loss i guess.
Watched two movies today. They're barnyard and slither, which is a PG show and an M18 show. Seriously i don't see the difference in them anyways. Watched slither first, as i was watching, i was snacking too. And then there's so much disgusting stuffs like raw human flesh, blood, gore. Goodness! I felt like vomitting all of a sudden, what a sight! Barnyard's funny, kind of touching anyways. Seems like i'm doing a review on these movies, i guess watching movies really do kill time don't you think? Went for running and dinner after that, and here i am! I guess today really woke up my mind, i never expect to miss someone so much in my entire life. And today made me realised that i was wrong to feel like that before. But it's too late now, no one can turn back time. And i regretted doing all these things in the past..
Anyways, i was just passing by some websites. And i came across a website which is all about gays, homosexuals and lesbians. I agree that they shouldn't be judged by their behaviours, they're also human right? What the, why am i talking like that all of a sudden. Don't anyhow think! It's just random thoughts i guess, and i closed that window shortly after that okay! I can't escape all those things, they're all part of life i guess. And then i guess after you left, i suddenly felt something missing in my life. I haven't got the chance to thank you and appreciate what you've done for me all this while. All these things just come and go as they like, i haven't realised all the true meaning of it. Maybe it's time i need time to cool down, instead of telling you to bug off constantly. I’ve hidden wishes for so long. Buried deep inside, keeping them secret from a world that’ll never realize the way i dream.
For long, i have been hiding and all the pain i hold within sends shivers down my spine. For long i have been waiting for a reason to arise. Was it all a waste of time? I am not who you think i am, soon i’ll be letting you down. I am not who you think i am i’m everywhere, you think i have been lying. There are secrets that lie frozen in my silent stare. If you go through my fears, you will see i’ve lost control. All the faith i had is gone. Step back and watch me closely as my crimson wings unfold. You’ll see me as i am, i know, it won’t be easy. But in the end, you’ll understand my instinctive need to fly. Out the real world i’ll be looking for answer that leads me back. No matter how hard it may seem, the little things that make us real show them who we truly are. There’s so much fear within you and so many faults to hide.
Did i do the right thing? I've thought of these incidents this few days. And things doesn't make sense to me anymore, i don't see the need for me to feel like that. As time past, i'll know what to do. Meanwhile, why not leave things the way they are? They're better much alone there, i don't want to get myself into trouble anymore. I've suffered enough for you, now i guess it's time you understand the pain i've gone through before. But what's the next step? I don't know what to do! I've hidden wishes for so long, buried deep inside. Keeping them secret from a world that'll never realize the way i dream. Out in the real world, i'll be looking for answer that leads me back to the way they are. I'm running from it all and all the painful memories, they haunt me once again.
I am not who you think i am and soon i'll be letting you down. I am not who you think i am, i'm everywhere.. i'm not going to be like the past me
Grace Lee. 18 this year. Currently studying in Commonwealth Secondary School. I love my CCA Girl Guides. In class 1/7, 2/7, 3/6, 4/6 5/1.
27th November is my special day. Black freak. I respect all kinds of people, regardless of race or religion. Tend to get worked up whenever I hear the sound of keys ting-a-ling.
Dislike peanut butter or anything that has the word 'nut' in it. Gets high easily. Choose to vent my anger on my blog.
a new hand phone,
more clothes,
crumpler bag,
advance in my allowance,
helix piercing,
tragus piercing,
grow taller,
belt with a guitar buckle,
laptop,
do well in my studies,
new i-pod (black colour),
nike watch,
nike bag,
green/ white/ grey/ black skinny jeans,
pass O level, go poly,
more piercings,
film director,
a camera,
a new camera,
PSP,
HIM
Singapore Social Network Updates
