Oh shit, why is this happening? Anyways just a quick post, kind of lazy to blog this few days. Everyday's just the same old stuffs. I've given up on it, i can't bear to continue all my wrong-doings any further. I should have given up on it long ago, now it's gone too deep. You've left a deep impression on me, i'm never going to forget this. Now i'm having troubles washing and clearing away. I should have just given up on it long ago..
How much i regretted it. So anyways, been having this trouble. Fucking hell! I don't know what to do now. I'm counting on you now, please make sure it work! It's a wreck! Been wondering what would happen after that day. Seems to others that it's normal for them, as time past for me. I realise that all this things would be separated from me. Why not leave them all now? Rather than keeping all this thoughts inside me. And then saying out later, it'll hurt oneself even deeper. But the things you're doing now, it somehow makes me hold my words back. Somehow it seems wrong just to be with all this things, but i can't avoid all this stuffs. Majority of it still goes to me wanting to give up on the things i want. Will that disappoint you when i'm gone away from you? It irritates me at times, but i don't have the time to carry on with this nonsense. Maybe i'll tell it straight to your face soon.
I secretly crave, crave that scent again. Still feel lit pressing on me now. Now with the onset, my flesh is weakening, i steel my nerves for temptations at hand again. Eyes filled with hatred, when they fall upon me. You worship gods of violence, forgetting lessons learned that prove these. The wrong ideals, don't let me follow in the foot steps. I won't embrace these wrong ideals. It only serves your wrong beliefs, filled with hatred when they fall upon me. Invoke the name and watch the masses turn on us. I'd follow endlessly to live the life I've seen, now every passing moment I die but one degree. And time ticks slowly forward towards the break of day. Lost and alone, i could see a fool standing right in front of me. Why do i feel so empty all of a sudden? Between the words you said to me, i know i'd be left empty.
Known each other for quite some time, and you've let me down before. And now you're returning all of a sudden, seems pointless. And yet you're saying stuffs that should have been said to me long ago. I've learnt to forgive and forget this few years, it took some time. But i didn't mind at all, at least you can be away from my mind. You've returned expectally, and i was foolish enough to follow to till now. Now i get what you mean by what you've said to me now. Things do change for a cause, but i guess everthing's too late now. There's no use turning back to it's original state now. For all i know, i've gotten myself into this mess. Let me be the one to un-do this freaking things i've done, and we can call it even. I can't be bothered to get into it now.
You're doing the best for yourself, even a blind can see that. What happens if you over do it? Why do you need to get overreacted about all this things? It takes time, that's all i can say. Wasted all my bloody time on you. Finally realised the importance of it right? Don't you find it too late to correct your mistakes? Pus you can't change a person's character for goodness sake. Why not change yourself first, they don't owe you anything in the first place. Some how, why call a person when that person's not interested in the first place. What the hell am i talking about, i don't even know what i'm talking about. I can't think straight now, not that there's something wrong inside me. Seems like i always get this feeling whenever i start to think back of the past.
How did i survive till this stage, i'll never know. And i guess this type of question, no one is able to answer me at all. So many questions left unanswered, when can i start to appreciate the true meaning of it? I do admire all these things, but once you start. Things always get worst, and end up with you being taken advantage of. I know what i want, but doesn't that seem kind of ridiculous? You know about the things being hidden inside of me, maybe i shall just keep quiet about it. Learn to face this problems step-by-step. I don't need you to tell me about all this things. Been escaping reality for far too long, what's in stall for me next? So anyways, i'm still thinking about what to give ASG for christmas. I think i've made up my mind, but those kind of gifts seems pointless to me. But hey! It's the thought that counts right? Maybe i should start to work on it already.
Your attitude yesterday was like shit! I told you i was shutting down right? Why did you yell at me? Can't you see it for yourself? Don't accuse people for no reason, plus i doubt i'm doing the wrong thing at that time. Since you've put it that way, i have nothing to say. That's just the way you are, i'm sure you know who am i referring to. I'm not saying you're in the wrong or whatsoever, but what the hell did i do yesterday? I shall say no more. So, someone told me my blog makes people moody, is it the song or the layout? I don't think so? Or does it? I shall take it as a compliment? Or something i should work on? Weird, but don't ask who! I don't know about today, nor tomorrow. Don't ask me. Anyways it's just a post, filled with random thoughts. If you don't get it, i can understand. sinking feeling
Grace Lee. 18 this year. Currently studying in Commonwealth Secondary School. I love my CCA Girl Guides. In class 1/7, 2/7, 3/6, 4/6 5/1.
27th November is my special day. Black freak. I respect all kinds of people, regardless of race or religion. Tend to get worked up whenever I hear the sound of keys ting-a-ling.
Dislike peanut butter or anything that has the word 'nut' in it. Gets high easily. Choose to vent my anger on my blog.
a new hand phone,
more clothes,
crumpler bag,
advance in my allowance,
helix piercing,
tragus piercing,
grow taller,
belt with a guitar buckle,
laptop,
do well in my studies,
new i-pod (black colour),
nike watch,
nike bag,
green/ white/ grey/ black skinny jeans,
pass O level, go poly,
more piercings,
film director,
a camera,
a new camera,
PSP,
HIM