You shouldn't hang on, it's already gone.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

My blog's going to rot, it won't it won't! Now, my ankle hurts a lot, maybe i sprained it. Oh well, i shall pray for myself to get well soon. The first week of school has ended! Really hectic week, even thou it's only been three days in school. As you all know, my first day was horrible but memorable. So yingzhen and i shared a bottle of black dye, and people still can see our hairs being dyed! But people said my hair's brown instead of red, weird. So we're almost late for school for this past three days, luckily we don't need to report for detention. Maybe i'll just have to get used to this kind of life from now on.

So we had girl guides camp on friday, well the camp was quite fun i guess. Shiping and i thought of some games to let the secondary 2s and 3s play. They had fun, and it was a pleasant sight to see all of them laughing and having such fun. We did pitch tents, but after i went back to the school, i heard that the people in npcc had re-pitched it for us. I don't know exactly what had happened, i'm not sleeping in the tent anyways. Plus it's been raining for the whole night, and i saw many insects flying around. Not in a mood to sleep, so ended up listening to my i-pod and thought of a lot of things. All these things had past, so listened till morning. Realised that i'm going to faint the next morning, didn't get any sleep at all. And i'm afraid that i would fall asleep during church service.

In the end, i left camp and the open house at around ten plus or eleven. Hope many girls would join girl guides this year, we're short of man-power! I mean, girl-power! So went to the mrt station and i got lost at city hall mrt station! I guess i was too tired to look at the signboard clearly, in the end i got lost. But i managed to find my way there and met jency and kaining at somerset. Service was fun, but i'm kind of a bit tired to jump around. And for no reason, my tears start to drop down again. After that i follow my cg members to a food court, and we chatted and ate. They're really nice people, you guys rock! After i reached home, fell on my bed and felt like sleeping. But my mum wanted me to eat my dinner, watch the news and bathe, so i prayed to god to let me have some energy left to do all these stuffs. Luckily i managed to do finished all these stuffs.

I guess i went to sleep after that, and i slept quite early. Actually i wanted to read the newspaper and bible before i sleep. Why didn't my alarm work?! Found out that i can squeeze another ear stick into my ear hole. So all my ear hole has got two ear sticks in it, luckily i didn't see any blood. I don't know why, but i always felt like sleeping these few days. Lack of sleep? Or is my mindset wrong? Even my maid asked me this,"eh, why you this few days keep sleeping? You okay a not?" I don't even know how to answer her myself, change my way of thinking! School's tomorrow, mdm chang said that two other people and i can be a "math teacher." So cool! I get to teach some people elementary mathematics, can't wait too. Thought of many things, i had some time left to think. But i can't figure a way out of it myself. You shouldn't take things like that you know?

No more no less, we're taking what we deserve. No more lies, i just found my inner truth. It's a new world that's coming through, and clears out my point of view. Now my life has changed in so many ways, i never expected it all along. Whenever life betrays you and fears are overcoming, stand strong with your brave heart. Just like a strange pulse through my veins, i feel a new beginning. A warm breeze calms all of your pain, isn't life worth living? You are my savior in my time of need, all the whispers, the warnings so clear. I know how you feel and i'm sure we expect the same things from each other. Something's stopping me, something's holding me back. This world may have failed you, it doesn't give you a reason why. You could have chosen a different path in life. Believe in yourself, do what you think is right. I know it myself, god's everywhere. God, forgive me for what i've done.

Give me the strength, to search the inner reflection where there's still pure. Enlight me and my dreams to bring back innocent memories. At times, i just wanted to cry it out and express my true feelings to you. What much does this mean to me, where were you when i needed you? Embrace yourself, fragment of twilight, trace of existence. Find the connection inside my dream, some choices, it seems are just divine illusions. But one thing i am sure of is that there's no way to deny myself. They're all just memories, it'll all be forgotten sooner or late. Just a matter of a fact whether i want it to be like that. Bent again i glimpse a past that i know never was still i see, reminiscence. Something i can't recollect speaks my mind, although i'm sure it's sometimes there. The intention seems unknown..

Do you feel you're not taken serious? That your input is brushed aside? That you can get no respect, that people may even be laughing behind your back? Does this make you question your self-worth?
~~lift your hands up high~~

1:48 PM