Well it's been some time since i last blogged, many things happened and i'm at a loss for words. I don't know where to start, and i've been thinking about this all along. Anyways, i got detention and i'm like so lazy to go. Plus the principal said that everyone must report to school at 7:20am, and that time i reached school at 8:05am. I was super shocked when the bus just closed the doors without me, anyways it's kind of a bad day for me that time. I don't want to remember anything on that day anymore.
Let's see, we had art during the first period. And as usual, we were slacking inside the art room, i don't even know what to draw. Miss ruth ng was talking non-stop as usual, seriously i don't really care what you say, no offence by the way. After that is PE lesson, mr lim wanted us to run around the whole school twice, which makes about 1.7km. It's been some time since i last ran, hope my stamina ain't that bad. The route was horrible, plus the wind is so big! It basically messed my fringe, i was holding my fringe and running at the same time. So my time is 9 minutes and 18 seconds, good or bad? I don't know, i only care about my fringe. Ain couldn't breath after she ran, hope she'll feeling better after that. During recess, my sis and puifun went to the student centre to collect the keys for our lockers. Luckily my locker wasn't at the bottom, it's at the top. Thanks haqim for lending me your i-pod during math lesson!
We thought of running away from guides, but i guess mrs loh's serious about us going to zhenghua secondary school. Before that, adeline, my sis and i went to look after the secondary ones. During that time i was really pissed off with a particular person, how dare she say the secondary fours are lousy? For goodness sake open your eyes can a not? Who's doing all the job? And yet who's getting all the credit in the end? Isn't there fairness anymore? I know you just want to keep quiet and do all your things, but can't you just stand up for yourself? I don't like the sight of you all being taken advantage of. I can't do much, nor can i say much. The secondary ones were quite easy to get along with, and i can't believe they were so interested in what i'm talking about. After that went off already, adeline and me tried to hide around, and was hoping mrs loh wouldn't see us. Anyways we did something, it's funny too. I wanted to keep quiet about it, something just made me blurt it out.
Went to play basketball with cuizhen and gina, both of them so funny. I love you guys! I saw it and i was utterly disappointed in it, i wanted to stay away from it. But something just brings all this back once more, running away isn't the way out anymore. The more i tried to escape from it, the more it's coming back. I ever tried to feel the same way as you, but what do i get in the end? No matter how hard i try to unwind, tears keep falling from my eyes. Lead me home to familiar places and back to crystalline skies. When should i react? When will it be a good time for me to relate it all out ot you? I'm all filled with questions, but who has the answers for me? Time for a breather let it all sink in. A pause from the deceiver and to reach deep within, i close my eyes if only for a second to let my courage rise. All i need is one more reason, the struggling of finding the truth behind the lies. I wept for my sins, i kept wondering why did i even bother doing that in the first place?
I was hoping you wouldn't care anymore, but yet you still refuse to give up. I don't want to say anything, because what i say always turns out wrong. Leave the lie you got to find a way, ask yourself why and give yourself a reason to stay. I'm receding back without you know, you got to stand firm without me. I won't always be there for you, don't ever rely on someone. Have faith in yourself, i have faith in you too. Why want to care about what they say to you? It's your life not theirs, you take control of it and live it the way you want. Sometimes i find it quite unreasonable of you to sort things out this way, isn't there any other way out? Left behind we are stranded not free, in silence i cry what went wrong was it me. Father please forgive me, falling out of what i know is true. Relentless i'm speechless, i'm fooled by my inner weakness. Enticing inspiring, your words were so convincing and delightful but soulless claimed harmless wishes seems less. Every morning's the beginning of a recreation day.
Small progess seems futile but is as valuable as life. Dear Lord, no one knows about it except you and me. Guide me through all this things, i don't know what to do now. I'm so caught up with my own personal stuffs and i really don't have time to think and settle this. Make my heart pure, stir in my heart, make me have compassion for all this people. Why do i constantly feel like that everytime i look into everyone of your eyes? I don't want the matter to get worst anymore, help me out here. I know what i'm doing now is not enough and it'll never be enough, but hope you'll see my efforts. In jesus's name i pray, amen. I won't give up, nor will i not have faith in you. You've done so many things for me, i just can't think of any other ways to thank you. Walking paths you never heard of, struggling in an endless battle, searching for a higher purpose. Why are you doing all this things in the first place? I hope nothing goes wrong.. you said it in the first place
Grace Lee. 18 this year. Currently studying in Commonwealth Secondary School. I love my CCA Girl Guides. In class 1/7, 2/7, 3/6, 4/6 5/1.
27th November is my special day. Black freak. I respect all kinds of people, regardless of race or religion. Tend to get worked up whenever I hear the sound of keys ting-a-ling.
Dislike peanut butter or anything that has the word 'nut' in it. Gets high easily. Choose to vent my anger on my blog.
a new hand phone,
more clothes,
crumpler bag,
advance in my allowance,
helix piercing,
tragus piercing,
grow taller,
belt with a guitar buckle,
laptop,
do well in my studies,
new i-pod (black colour),
nike watch,
nike bag,
green/ white/ grey/ black skinny jeans,
pass O level, go poly,
more piercings,
film director,
a camera,
a new camera,
PSP,
HIM