You shouldn't hang on, it's already gone.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

What the! I blogged SO much just now, and my computer suddenly shut down by itself. And i couldn't recover back my post, what this function 'Recover post' for? Waste of my time, kind of tired now, so i'm cutting my post short by half i guess.

So today's a really memorable day for me, and i'm not kidding. Anyways let me just say something about the past few days. Went to linda's house for cg meeting, and i had fun there. I've always wanted to speak in tongues, i want to get baptised by the holy spirit! So envious of others who can speak in tongues, i'll just pray and pray. So desperate for it, i'll continue to have faith in myself. And then we sang songs and play games there. I want to say this, yongmei is more zhilian than me! During that night, my sister and i were doing some stuffs with our earholes. My sister wanted to squeeze another ear stick into her ear hole, but i managed to squeeze my second ear stick into my ear hole. It's very very painful, not kidding.

And my sister was having a lot of trouble with hers. Tried to pray for her, well in the end the ear stick went inside. Congrats! Mine was bleeding non-stop, i'll just have to endure! Anyways had to wake up for school early in the morning. I'm not used to it! Because i used to sleep at four or five in the morning, and waking up at noon. I'll just have to wake up anyways. So we reached the school, and we're almost late. The OM said that he's closing the gate in three minutes time, thank god! Found out that our new CM is mr methias, thought he was nice at first. Until he caught my hair! Shocked me when they said that they're conducting a spot-check. Tried to keep my head down, until mr methias walked up to me. He said,"eh, your hair what colour ah?" And he signalled me to stand at one corner, so embarassing!

In the end, jacqueline, yingzhen, haqim and i went to spray our hair black for the time being. Luckily i managed to escape the OM, so yingzhen, haqim and i went back to our class. Just want to thank simin for her belated birthday present to me, thanks! Anyways after school i went to buy black dye for my hair, goodbye to my red hair. I'm going to miss you! All of a sudden, all this memories came back to me all of a sudden. I don't know why, i shouldn't feel like that anymore. Don't even know how to express myself our anymore, i don't know who to go to. Trapped within your own apathy, spiraling into a cycle of loss. Beaten mind with a bruised reflection, it's addiction to failure of substances. Horror of self, i must confront this sooner or later. School will be taking much of my time up, i'll miss this blog of mine. Where no one would understand how i feel, it's between god and me. I'll sure you know how i feel more, amen.

When I was at my weakest, you gave me strength with your trust, surrounding me with light..
~~i was hoping for the best~~

4:14 PM